6 Our objective is to complete the first soft coup in the world using purely legitimate means rather than mass mobilisation – regime change without military or mob intervention. Our competitors are Pakistan, where the President is facing a soft coup attempt and the Philippines where the President is using congress to impeach the Chief Justice. However, they are seeking to replace one component of state apparatus, we are aiming to remove the whole lot.

On the face of it, this might indeed seem impossible since at least three of the four pillars of our democracy – the legislature, the judiciary and the media – are all under the firm control of the “Synagogue of Satan”, the highly irregular masonic lodge – La Triple Esperance. While Sir Anerood Jugnauth maintains the semblance of antipathy towards the bent brethren, this would be compatible with their modus operandi, as elucidated by Vladamir Lenin: “The best way to control the opposition is to lead it ourselves”. Alternatively, with his son effectively a hostage of ICAC and the courts, they can manipulate him through his greatest weakness – paternal devotion. However, it is this total subversion of the Sovereignty of the Republic of Mauritius that renders our comprehensive coup necessary.

Our initial strategy had been to liberate Pravind Jugnauth, as well as free the press, from the tyranny of the Prime Minister. Hence, our first intervention with the President, offering him the keys to Pravind’s prison and calling for the liberation of Dharmanand Dooharika, Chief editor of the newspaper Samedi Plus. Was it a coincidence that he was released on the very same day? However, the President was later deaf to our own appeal for assistance to protect us from the threats of the Pied Piper of Riviere Noire, Jameel Peerally, and his band of fellow apprentice masons. The police had done nothing despite our appeals to the ACP in charge of CCID and the Commissioner of Police himself. Even the Ombudsman had washed his hands of the affair in the most cowardly manner possible.

The President, however, did not reciprocate our act of good will and the police underlined their refusal to protect life and property when one of us was assaulted by the goons working for HM Rawat. They subsequently compounded their complicity with the oligarchic mafia by alerting rather than arresting the main suspect and refusing to take a formal declaration of complaint. To all our interventions, the media have remained deathly silent, revealing them to be, in reality, the propaganda arm of la Triple Esperance – i.e. the freemason’s rather than the free press. However, this, in turn permitted us to initiate an indefensible manoeuvre in our coup d’etat – the unprecedented private prosecution of the Commission of Police, the Prime Minister’s Office and the Synagogue of Satan itself. The Chief Justice, in failing to respond, leaves himself vulnerable to the accusation that he is in violation of Section 10.1 of the Constitution.

Meanwhile, we have denounced the Jugnauth family and the Prime Minister’s Office to ICAC for corruption. Permitting us to reveal to the world that we are indeed being censored by the media. Concurrently, at the insistence of one of our “councillors”, we made moves to recruit Harish Boodhoo to the cause. However, he revealed his own Machiavellian machinations by denouncing us to the CCID for our act of grace. However, this allowed us to make a stunningly scathing statement to the Supreme Court.

To hit the final nail in the coffin and pull tight the Gordian Knot, we simultaneously denounced the police to ICAC for their complicity with HM Rawat and ICAC to the police for their complicity with the Prime Minister’s Office (OB 14/12 at Fan Faron Police Station). We now await the arrival of Alexander the Great!

What’s the “6″ for? 6-002 – the year of MiIII’s release written backwards.
And the significance of the III? Take your pick from: Masonics, Matrix or MTricks

On Thursday 24^th November 2011 I visited the Infotec Computer Exhibition in Mauritius. While there I was sold an Asus eepad Transformer by SR and ZR of the HM Rawat company. I was told it had the latest operating system Android 4.0 and that no more powerful models would be available in the near future. When I switched it on at home I was disappointed to discover that it had the older Android 3 operating system and was shocked to learn that a much better version, the Transformer Prime was being launched in a matter of days.

I called the head office the next day. A lady called S* apologised for the mistake, telling me that they would be taking delivery of the Transformer Prime within two weeks. She asked me to come to return the Transformer to the shop in Beau Bassin and I would be given the the newer model as soon as it arrived. When I arrived there at 16h45 on Saturday, I was told that I would have to pay more but they did not yet know how much. I explained that someone would be visiting me from the UK at Christmas and I would prefer to buy it there if it was cheaper. S* told me that she was not authorised to give me a refund. So she called Sumeyyah and passed the phone to me. SR asked me to meet her at Infotec and she would sort things out.

Within 15 minutes I had arrived at the exhibition. Since SR was not at the HM Rawat stand, I asked other members of staff to find her and waited patiently. After a few moments a body guard in an HM Rawat t-shirt stood right in front of me and started to psychologically assault me. Shortly afterwards SR returned but the body guard insisted I would not be able to meet her. Then Zaynab noticed me and called out a greeting. As soon as I started talking to her I was confronted by about 6 other Rawat employees and effectively chased out of the building. I immediately called the police’s central despatch room who advised me to seek assistance from the officers at the exhibition.

Outside I could only find a lone police woman who suggested we return inside to find some male colleagues for support before seeking to identify my assailant. At the entrance to the exhibition we were confronted by about 4 men including a man who claimed to be the owner of the HR Rawat. From the HM Rawat website, I can confirm that he is Mahmad Ali Rawat. I suggested to the police woman that we continue inside and return with some back up. Then I noticed some photographer friends and asked them to get ready to take what might be some newsworthy pictures. I returned within a few minutes with two male police officers.

The owner insisted on moving away from the HM Rawat stand to discuss matters away from his customers. He also insisted on having the body guard by his side, but since I felt intimidated by his presence the police asked him to move out of sight. The owner then asked me what the problem was but continuously interrupted my explanation. After I had finished he told me that he would not return my money and that he would be happy to face me in court. He then started talking privately to the police officers. After a few moments they told me to make a declaration at a police station, so I asked to have their names and numbers as witnesses. They refused, removed their badges and walked quickly away.

I then went to another stand, Cash and Carry where I had ordered a memory card. However, the body guard continued to harass me this time joined by a colleague wearing a t-shirt with an Orange logo. What happened next can be seen in the video. I later discovered that my photographer friends has themselves been warned by the Rawat thugs of the consequences of taking any pictures.

On returning to Pointe aux Canonniers, I attended the local clinic and the doctor diagnosed me as having a suffered a psychological trauma. He prescribed Zanax and advised me to rest. As I was still in shock I was not aware of the pain in my ribs but this became noticeable once I had taken the Zanax. Hence I took some pain killers that I had to hand.

On 2011.11.27, I was informed by Pointe aux Canonniers Police Station that Mr Rawat had made a complaint against me at Pailles that day (OB 2040/11). When I called the latter, I was informed that the complaint was a trivial one and there was no need to respond to it.

On 2011.11.30, I attended the hospital at Pamplemousses still suffering from a bruised rib after the assault. I presented the PF58 assault form that I had previously collected from Pointe aux Canonniers Police Station. When the doctor asked me why I had not come sooner, I replied that I had been taking Zanax to calm my nerves and it was not safe for me to drive. Up to 2011.12.29, I had not been summoned by any police station to make a statement in connection with the assault.

On 2011.12.29, I was in the office of the manager of the Orange shop at the edge of the SuperU car park in Grand Baie. On exiting the office I noticed the same man who had assaulted me at Infotec. He was wearing a black t-shirt with “Rawat written on it. I quickly re-entered the office and asked the manager (Farad Soodun) to obtain the name of my assailant. He attempted to but returned to the office saying that he was unable to obtain the name.

As I exited the shop, I took a good look at the man to confirm it was the same person. I was convinced. Once outside, I hid myself behind a shipping container and called the police at Grand Baie. They told me they would despatch some police men to assist. Some twenty minutes later a van with three officers arrived. I was surprised how long it took.

On entering the shop it was obvious that the culprit had left. On leaving the shop, the manager arrived from the direction of the car park. On questioning he told the police that the assailant was working for HM Rawat promoting Nokia mobile phones out side the shop. I apologised to the police for wasting my time. They told me that if I ever saw the man again to call them. They then advised me to make a declaration at Pointe aux Canonniers Police Station.

I then traversed the car park towards the food court. To my surprise I saw the villain sat in a car with two other people (one male and one female). They were clearly hiding. I switched my mobile phone on to video camera and approached the car to record the licence plate. As soon as my assailant saw me he made a call on his mobile phone, exited the car and moved quickly away from me so that I could not record his face. His male colleague moved in front of the licence plate to prevent me recording it, however he was not quick enough.

The car was a white Renault Clio, licence number 3647 AG 05.

On reflection, I believe that the police had either warned the Rawat staff directly through their head office or warned them indirectly though the manager of the Orange shop. In any event, it seemed pointless to call the police again. Another clear case of the Mauritius Police Farce preferring to serve the interests if the local oligarchic mafia than uphold law and order and protect life and and property.

On numerous occasions I have sought to make a declaration to the police at Pointe aux Canonniers about the original assault, however, they have consistently refused to accept it. From my own experience of the Police Complaints Bureau, they are an ineffective department with no real authority or independence. Therefore, I have no other recourse than to report the matter to ICACand ask them to investigate this systemic corruption, i.e. collusion between the police and HM Rawat in breach of the POCA.

Video of assault

Somewhat less surprising is the fact that no other newspapers followed suit this morning and so far only Radio Plus has sought an interview with Dr Munisamy. Hence the title of this post. After all, how else can this bizarre behaviour of the so-called “free press” be explained, unless it is in reality the “freemason press”? What is ironic about the general non-publishing of newsworthy press releases from our blog is that it lends credence to Dr Munisamy’s criminal case against the Co-missionary (position) of Police, the Prime Minister’s Orifice and the Three Ass-pair-ants.

Is this the perfect example of an honed gaol? Okay this pun on “own goal” is rather weak since “honed” – meaning “sharpened” – is more appropriate to Bob Marley’s small axe, used to cut down a big tree than a “gaol” – meaning prison. “Honed” could also allude to the guillotine used to decapitate the corrupt elite in the French Revolution. While we do not generally condone the use of capital punishment, it is often appropriate in cases of treason and moreover the guillotine is widely accepted as the most human method of execution. It also makes for a quite gory public spectacle that would surely be a deterrent to potential kleptocrats, would it not?

Bob Marley was the inspiration of our beloved seggae singer Kaya who died in police custody in February 1999 after a rally calling for the legalisation of marijuana, organised by the political party of the treacherous Rama Valayden. Soon after, his compatriot, Berger Agathe, was murdered at point blank range by a bullet fired by a cowardly policeman. This sparked off riots by the Afro-Mauritian community that raged for three days against the symbols of Vaish hegemony, which, incidentally, the recent proposals for proportional representation are designed to firmly entrench. Near the end of it, Prime Minister Navin-chunder Ram-ghoul-ham came on state-owned television to announce that the protestors had “tarnished the island’s reputation” and would therefore be “severely punished” (reference). They have been persecuted by the police, particularly the ADSU, ever since.

After the London riots this year, parallels have been drawn with the Mauritius’ worst ethnic conflict since independence. In the words of the the author of an insightful article in Le Mauricien:

I suspect that that section of the population is still among us – poor, disenfranchised and alienated from many of the core institutions that make up civic society in the country. The malaise that they felt in 1999 has not disappeared in the last decade – it is certain that it is still bubbling away. Indeed, the stories in the Mauritian daily newspapers are vivid proof of that. Pretending that all is well in the society arc-en-ciel is but doing very little to tackle social inclusion. It’s like putting a sticking plaster to stem the flow of blood from a major severed artery.

The young pretender to the crown of King Creole and his head-banging gang of thugs, better known as “Kid Kreol and the Coconuts” have done precious little to improve the lot of the genuine poor during their time in the Ministry of Social Integration. Indeed, the globe-trotting son of Sir Gayton Duval’s estranged wife, preferred to party in the carnival city of Rio de Janeiro, rather than risk being lynched in the slums and ghettos of the disadvantaged, disenchanted and disenfranchised of Mauritius’ shamefully secret, persistent pockets of poverty.

The silent cry of the self-chosen people has not gone unheeded. “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice” was an oft repeated expression of Dr Martin Luther King Jr. Another Doctor Who is a Time Lord and hastening the day of reckoning. A Great Prophet, pbuh, once proclaimed about each corrupter of the youth: “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble.” To the son of the evil godfather of the nation this fatwa is issued: “You have been tried and found guilty in the Divine Court of Justice. As above, so below.”

Jah Rastafari!

Lyrics:

Why boasteth thyself
Oh, evil men;
Playing smart
And not being clever?
I said, you’re working iniquity
To achieve vanity (if a-so a-so)
But the goodness of Jah, Jah
I-dureth for-I-ver

So if you are the big tree
We are the small axe
Ready to cut you down (well sharp)
To cut you down.

These are the words (oooh ooh ooh, oooh)
Of my Master, keep on tellin’ me (ooh ooh ooh)
No weak heart
Shall prosper
eh! And whosoever diggeth a pit
Shall fall in it, fall in it
And whosoever diggeth a pit
Shall fall in it (… fall in it)

If you are the big tree, let me tell you that
We are the small axe, sharp and ready
Ready to cut you down (well sharp)
To cut you down.

(Ooh ooh ooh, oooh)
(To cut you down)
(Ooh ooh ooh, oooh)
(To cut you down)

These are the words
Of my master, tellin’ me that
No weak heart
Shall prosper.
And whosoever diggeth a pit
Shall fall in it, uh, bury in it
And whosoever diggeth a pit
Shall bury in it, uh (… bury in it)

If you are the big tree,
we are the small axe
ready to cut you down
to cut you down.

If you are the big big tree
we are the small axe
ready to cut you down
to cut you down.

[Note to editors: The term "franc-hoes" is not an abusive reference to the predominantly racist white community in Mauritius, but rather is a full frontal attack on the apron-wearing, trowel-brandishing irregular French "franc-maçons" of the dodgy lodgy known as la Tripe Espérance (find out more here). The adopted symbol of the Hopeless Intestines is the three anchors which should obviously be prefixed with a "w". Also note that "hoe" is both a garden implement and a homophone (nothing to do with homosexuals) of the US street slang corruption of "whores".]

The Office of the Devil’s Advocate

To:	The Chief Justice		From:	Legal Ad-Vizier to WeLuvMu
	Chambers of the Supreme Court			The Office of the Devil’s Advocate
	Port Louis			Pro Street
	MAURITIUS			HELL
Fax no.	+230 210 0679		Fax no.	+44 870 487 5555
Date: December, the Twenty-Second Day*, 2011

Please respond to the attached letter by fax after having gained the consent or otherwise of the Attorney General and the Director of Public Prosecutions.

Nota Bene:

The recipe-ants of the letter are strongly cautioned against dismissing it as a joke. Any humour contained therein is soul-hee for the benefit of the audience and to disguise the True nature of the Source. The intention to pro-so-cute and ex-act the sever-rest of penal-ties is death-lie seer-I›us.

* Twenty seconds? That’s a bit short for a day isn’t it? Still it’s probably just long enough to send this fax LOL

________________________________________________________________________________

The Chief Justice

Chambers of the Supreme Court

Port Louis

MAURITIUS

2012.12.22

Consent to proceed with a private prosecution

Dear e-steamed¹ Chief Justice, Attorney General and Director of Public Prosecutions

On behalf of WeLuvMu, a charitable institution and private limited company (Business Registration Number: C09085650), we have been mandated by the Bored to make the following request:

Prosecutor: WeLuvMu

Defendants: Commissioner of Police, Prime Minister’s Office, Triple Espérance (Assⁿ 67)

Charges

• Conspiracy to pervert the course of justice and hence endanger the life and integrity of Dr Richard Luke Munisamy in violation of his Constitutional Rights as a citizen of the Sovereign Democratic State known as the Republic of Mauritius.
• Conspiracy to deny Dr Richard Luke Munisamy of his Constitutional Right to freely express himself in open letters via the State and private media organisations, hence denying him the safety afforded by the public’s knowledge of his victimisation.

Pre-Action Protocol and Duty of Disclosure

• Commissioner of Police. An open letter was sent to the CP dated 24^th November 2011, warning him of a private prosecution if he failed to fulfil the conditions contained therein. To date, no reply has been received.
• Prime Minister’s Office. The PMO subsumes the Ministry of Defence and Home Affairs. As such it is ultimately responsible and accountable for the Mauritius Police Force².
• La Triple Espérance: LTE is a highly irregular masonic lodge whose procedures of recruitment results in a membership with a concentration of personages of influence. Hence, it is likely to include high ranking members of the MPF, the PMO and the media. In the words of the Venereal Master (l’Express Dimanche 2010.10.24):

“C’est vrai que nous cherchons des personnes de valeur. Dont la manière d’être, ou les écrits ou les actions demontrent qu’ils seront de bons maillons. Et en effet, certains practique des professions où ils exercent déjà une certaine influence sur la société.”

Due to its intrinsically surreptitious nature, it has not been possible to communicate with LTE directly. However, it is assumed that the Venereal Master has been pre-warned of this action and, in any event, all relevant correspondence is freely available on the Internet.

Summary of Offences

• Jameel Peerally and associates have been repeatedly reported to the police by Dr Munisamy for threats to main and kill. On 2011.12.09, Jameel Peerally and an associate located, harassed and would have physically assaulted Dr Munisamy had he not succeeded in effecting an escape.
• On 2011.11.24, Dr Munisamy was the victim of an unprovoked physical and psychological assault. The police were called to assist but refused and left him unprotected. It has proved impossible to find a psychiatrist without a conflict of interest who will prepare a medical report for a law suit.
• On 2011.12.19, Dr Munisamy was the victim of an occult plot which may have led to his death in police custody had he not effected an escape.
• None of Dr Munisamy’s supplications for help to persons of authority, describing these events and establishing the motives of the perpetrators have been published by the public or private media organisations.

Supporting Evidence

Physical and electronic evidence of the above will be made available in accordance with the defined procedures of the courts.

Witnesses, attesting to the conspiracy, for obvious reasons, are insisting that their anonymity be guaranteed.

Conflict of Interest

It is assumed that anyone with a conflict of interest, e.g. through familial, familiar or freemasonry connections with the defendants, will declare those interests and excuse themselves from this process; as will anyone associated with intelligence agencies who have a vested interest in the outcome of this prosecution, e.g. the CIA.

Alternative Recourse

If you are unwilling or unable to consent to the above or provide the necessary guarantees for the anonymity and protection of the witnesses, you are requested to grant leave for the prosecutor to make application to the African Court of Justice and Human Rights.

Should you refuse this, the details of this matter will be communicated to the International Criminal Court on the grounds that the State is unwilling or unable to genuinely carry out or permit the prosecution.

Time Limits

You have until 2012.01.07 to respond. It would be unfortunate if the accused used this delay to flee the country never to return (this might be beyond our jurisdiction;)

With the best wishes of the Sea’s-son³

IN THE SUPREME COURT OF MAURITIUS

In the matter of:

Harisun BOODHOO

Appellant

versus

THE STATE

Respondent

I, Dr Richard Luke MUNISAMY, aged 43,

MAKE OATH AND SAY THAT:

1. I am a Mauritian Citizen as per the Constitution of Mauritius.
2. As a founding Director of the registered charitable institution WeLuvMu, and in my own right as an individual, I am irrevocably committed to the realisation of an ecologically sustainable society in Mauritius. My interventions in this regard have been both prolific and diverse. For example, I was asked to participate in the Working Groups for the Prime Minister’s Maurice Ile(s) Durable(s) (MID) initiative. One my contributions was to develop a roadmap to energy self-sufficiency which is freely available on the internet. My primary mission is to develop a national strategy for sustainability and a process for managing the transition, including the identification and elimination of any barriers to change.
3. Since the conclusion of the Working Groups there has been no material progress in the MID initiative. Hence, WeLuvMu has been seeking to establish a team of local experts supported by international consultants to carry the project forward and re-energise the transition to Sustainable Mauritius. Tentative enquiries have indicated that the likelihood of political and hence financial support for this within the Government and its parastatal entities would be low. This confirmed my suspicions of 2010 that second biggest obstacle to realising Sustainable Mauritius is the political elite class, which appears to have undue influence over the judicial process via occult, irregular Freemasonry.
4. It is sad to observe that the greatest barrier to change is the mentality of the average Mauritian. When I left Mauritius after cyclone Claudette on the eve of 1980, the culture of Mauritius was one of communal harmony, mutual support, self-sufficiency and the four R’s of sustainability: Reduce, Reuse, Repair and Recycle. Indeed, I vividly remember eating fruit and vegetables directly from the garden, where chickens freely roamed and laid eggs that we collected for breakfast. We received milk every morning, still warm from the cow in bottles that were washed and returned.
5. My grandmother’s house in Triolet became a refuge for those who did not have a concrete shelter when cyclone Claudette devastated the main island. In its aftermath, I remember that the electricity and water supplies were severely disrupted. However, we somehow managed and I remember collecting and using the water that accumulated on the flat roof of the house. With great sadness, I observed the shock of those whose iron sheet housing had been totally destroyed and with amazement how they were helped by those whose possessions had been protected within solid walls.
6. Today, most of us live in concrete buildings that are infinitely stronger than those cobbled together with iron sheets in the 1960′s and 70′s. However, our social resilience is a fraction of what it was. Similarly, our capacity to cope with the devastation of cyclones and the hardships of their aftermath has been decimated. The spirit of community, harmony and mutual assistance has been replaced by one of individuality, discord and mutual distrust bordering on hatred in the case of neighbours of different religions and political affiliations.
7. As for the environment, I remember swimming in front of Trou aux Biches hotel with the most beautifully coloured fish. Baby blue-spotted sting rays were a regular sight as were tiny moray eels hiding in coral patches. However, I also remember the waste water outflow pipe that led from the beach straight out to the fringing reef and the security guards who only permitted access to friends and family. Today the sewerage is treated on-site and anyone can walk along the beach. However, the coral patches have been erased and the diversity of life all but eliminated. It’s a deplorable case of too little too late.
8. In summary, the lagoons surrounding our once idyllic isle are a mirror of the soul of our society. They have been transformed from a vibrant, diverse yet harmonious paradise into a well-kept cemetery. On the surface, all seems in order, but below everything is dead and rotting. Who knows what would happen if the buried skeletons again saw the light of day and if the spirits of the unjustly slain rose like vengeful zombies demanding the blood of their murderers? Do not be afraid, be very afraid because the social fabric would be lacerated into a thousand pieces and our island would descend into a war-torn hell.
9. Such a scenario, I am determinedly seeking to avoid. To achieve this it is necessary to remove the cancer from our collective body that has destroyed our health and disturbed our balance. Because this cancer is so pervasive, it is a life-or-death surgical operation. The patient is mostly asleep but the anaesthetic will soon wear off and there is every likelihood that the afflicted will turn on their Doctor. Such can be the fate of those who have sworn to their God, like faithful servants of old, to complete their mission or die trying. Some succeed, while others fail, yet all are regarded by posterity as heroes.
10. In this Spirit, I sought to use legal means to eliminate all political parties from participating in the elections for the National Assembly in 2010. To my astonishment, I discovered that this is no longer a country where law and order reign. It seems they have been systematically replaced by the law of the jungle and both the judiciary and the police follow the orders of occult forces and demonic voice of their own self-interest. Moreover, it appears that the tentacles of this evil reach right to the capstone of the legal pyramid, to the hearts and minds of the Lords of the Law. Will they turn from the Dark Side when the Light of the Spirit of the Law blazes forth in their midst? Will they repent and experience the relief of forgiveness and laughter or be inflamed with anger and spontaneously combust? As above, so below.
11. Clearly my journey is far from complete. Neither is it clear to me what path it will take until I arrive at each fork and cross-roads. And this is how I became embroiled in this superficially ludicrous matter of Boodhoo versus the State.
12. One Shanar Ojeerally, a remote internet acquaintance and source of intelligence, directed my attention to Good Bhai Harish. By bizarre coincidence he had appointed the incarnate Judases of the legal profession, namely my ex-lawyer Kaviraj Bokhoree and the betrayer of heroes, Rama Valayden. On Friday 16^th of December, I responded to being summoned to ICAC to expand on my complain against the President. After receiving guidance on the best way to present it bearing in mind the President’s outrageous immunity from prosecution, I found myself with time on my hands and so called Bokhoree. He was in his office and invited me to join him. I arrived at approximately 15:40 and proceeded to inform the self-agrandising double-agent of the details of my mission.
13. He suggested I stay to meed Boodhoo who arrived at 16:00. Apparently Valayden had pulled his usual stunt and gone AWOL. With the same insight but with different motives, both Bokhoree and I suggested to Boodhoo that he was in the privileged position of being able to become the next head of state. In his distress at Valayden’s treachery, the seed feel on stony ground. Therefore, I summarised for him the probable next steps on my journey, making the assumption that we share the same objectives. To my surprise he announced that he would oppose me every step of the way in defence of the Prime Minister. How ironic is it that Boodhoo, the author of the lie that the PM must be Vaish, would want to defend an incumbent who has a rather sensational secret to hide in the MGI? Whose father was born Ravi Ved?
14. Confused as to where his historically vacillating loyalties now lay, I asked Boodhoo about the President. In fact, I asked if he accepted that the supposed defender of the Constitution was utterly corrupt. He quietly affirmed this in a manner that showed his allegiance still lay with the cunning old fox. I also asked him about the details of this present matter and his motives for appealing to the JCotPC. He replied that he disagreed with the manner in which the Public Gathering Act 1991 was being applied in his case. I enquired whether it might not be a better idea to ask the Law Lords to strike down this evil legislation that is anathema to modern day human rights. He refused. I also asked him who would fund his appeal and he replied opaquely that he had supporters.
15. At this point Bokhoree led me outside and explained that he was concerned about the mental state of his client and asked me to help. I could but only concur that Boodhoo seemed out of his mind and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I asked what was the magnitude of the fine for the offence with which he had been convicted. When Bokhoree announced that it was a mere Rs.10,000 it seemed like a trivial sum compared to the stress and exorbitant cost of seeking justice from the Privy Council. I asked him why he did not pay it on his client’s behalf and he replied that he would if he had the time and pleaded with me to do so in his stead.
16. We then argued about who would foot the bill. It was agreed that I would pay in return for a priceless piece of theatre that would proceed as follows:
    1. At the end of the hearing the following Monday, the Judge would order the arrest of Boodhoo.
    2. I would then stand up to intercede in his defence.
    3. The Judge would announce that I was in contempt of Court.
    4. I would respond that he was in contempt of the Law while revealing the receipt for the paid fine.
    5. On the steps of the Supreme Court, the Matinal newspaper would photograph the happy conclusion of this drama: the victorious three musketeers who had succeeded in both revealing and escaping the injustice that seems rife in our land.
17. It is worth noting that I have been manifestly black-listed by the public and private media companies of Mauritius. It seems that they are under strict instructions from occult forces to give my legal interventions no publicity whatsoever. Apparently, they fear that my rising popularity as a champion for human rights will be their certain downfall. Perhaps they are right. Since this was a golden opportunity to raise pubic awareness about my crusade, I agreed to play my part, while Bokhoree would arrange the media and handle any fall out from Boodhoo provided that I tell no one of his own role. We shook hands and I left.
18. Many things can happen between a Friday afternoon and a Monday morning, and in retrospect it seems that in this case the occult forces were rather busy.
19. On Monday morning, I made my way to the District Court of Port Louis but realised that I had forgotten both the paper with the case number and Bokhoree’s business card to demonstrate that I was acting on his instructions. My sms to Boodhoo’s double-crossing lawyer was in vain and at 09:50, my phone call to him was hurriedly cut short after he instructed me to proceed as planned and then join him in court one with a copy of the receipt. And so I did.
20. To my surprise, I found him on the steps of the court building some 20 minutes later. This was exactly where I had been first introduced to him in April 2010 by my unscrupulous uncle, known to me as Baby Reddi. Although the coincidence is almost impossible to believe, he was one of the main exploiters of the sale-by-levy fiasco and an arch-enemy of the very people on behalf of whom Boodhoo was advocating. It was his demonstration to maintain awareness of their plight that led to him being arrested, charged and found guilty in this current matter.
21. Once within range, Bokhoree pulled a lethal weapon from his inside jacket pocket and brandished it menacingly in front of me. I immediately provided him with the copy of the receipt on which I had written a short note, folded and inscribed his name on the outside with an almost ink-less ballpoint pen that left deep indentations. He warned me to keep my mouth closed about his complicity in paying Boodhoo’s fine and instructed me to rejoin him at midday.
22. I then proceeded to the Data Protection Office and met with one Mr H. Bhugowon and one Mr. P. Dookee as pre-arranged. The meeting was ostensibly to discuss progress on a complaint that I made after the elections last year on a matter that it is extremely politically sensitive to the point of being incendiary. Once that was complete, I explained how I saw the rest of my mission evolving and about the case of Boodhoo. I trust that they will verify my version should you enquire of them.
23. At the appointed hour, I called Bokhoree who was by then in his office. Clearly the photo opportunity had been completely missed. This was more than annoying as I had dressed up especially for it and so had spent the morning walking around Port Louis dressed as a guru. In India and even the spiritual park at Pointe Lascars, this would have induced displays of respect and affection. In the godforsaken streets of Port Louis, people looked at me like I was insane. It was now obvious that I had been double-crossed.
24. I entered Bokhoree’s inner sanctum and immediately felt threatened by several large men who I assumed to be Boodhoo’s bodyguards, perhaps from the Voice of Hindu. The meeting itself had a sinister feel. Bokhoree himself hurried me outside, repeated his warning to keep silent and told me to wait outside. Fearful for my safety, I left for Pope Hennessy police station to make a declaration. As a master chess player, I am certain that Bokhoree would have anticipated this move.
25. At the police station, the desk officer refused to take a declaration and instead insisted that I return to Bokhoree’s office with him. When I told him about the bodyguards and the concealed weapon, he located three other officers who armed themselves and took me outside. Initially, I led the way but when I turned around they had stopped some 20 metres behind me and one appeared to hurriedly conceal a phone. Suspicious, I told them I would follow them and reminded them about Bokhoree’s concealed weapon.
26. Once at the office, I was told to wait in the corridor. Most astonishingly, the three officers waited patiently outside the office as well. It seemed that they were expected and were deferring to some mysterious authority rather than following their training to protect life and property. After several minutes they were invited in.
27. They emerged some ten minutes later and advised me that Bokhoree had given a completely different account of events and that I should return with them to the station to make a declaration. When I asked about the weapon, they said they had no right to search for it until after I had made a declaration. I knew this to be false but went along with it.
28. At the police station I went straight to the Inspector and explained what had happened, making a formal complaint against the desk officer and the other three. After listening to me he called them into his office. At this point Boodhoo arrived looking furious. Feeling in an extremely vulnerable position I called DCP Beekhun on his mobile phone to come to my aid but he failed to take the call and to this date has not called me back.
29. Therefore, I called one of my associates who has political connections. We had previously spoken about going to Line Barracks to update my statement to CID in response to the ongoing threats to my life and safety by Jameel Peerally and his gang of thugs. He had warned me that, while CP Rampersad remains in office, even if he accompanied me, he could not guarantee my safety and asked me if I knew what happened to Kaya. Of course I did as I was in Mauritius at that time. The world is still waiting to know the truth and for justice to be done. Although most have forgotten and allowed it to be brushed under the carpet of time, the few know he will rise again like a phoenix from the ashes of 1999 and his beautiful songs will resonate once more within the hearts of the population. The hearts of his people will reverberate with joy, while those of his tormentors will tremble with fear.
30. My friend discerned that I was in a carefully laid trap and advised me to escape, make a declaration to ICAC and seek the company of my kind who could protect me. I did as instructed and met Dushy, son of Rajen Sabapathee, later that afternoon. That evening I also met with the Rajen, son of Renganaden Seeneevassen. I went to sleep that night, thanking the Shekinah for Illuminating the Path, secure in the knowledge that if anything happens to me, She will inspire the Dravidian community to rise up and call the guilty to account.

Drawn up and sworn by the above named deponent at his own home, this 21st day of December 2012, witnessed by the Divine and, via the internet, the characters of this world.

Made on the 19th Day of December 2011.

It is my ardent belief that the Jugnauth family have violated the Prevention of Corruption Act 2002 (POCA). The statements that follow fall into one of three categories:

• Things that I have witnessed first hand or that are available as public records.
• Things that I have been told by first hand witnesses.
• Beliefs that consistently explain the the collection statements in the above categories.

Where appropriate, I make the distinction between these three categories, however, it is the responsibility of the Commission to verify their veracity.

Paddy Ashdown was leader of the UK Liberal Democrat Party from 1988 to 1999. At some point in 1998/9, he visited Mauritius and the British High Commission hosted a reception for him. At that time my father, Pitambarum Munisamy, was a City Councillor for Gloucester, UK, a former candidate for Parliament and a member of the said party. He attended that event and became acquainted with Sir Anerood Jugnauth (SAJ). One or two years later, after SAJ had become Prime Minister, my father met him in his office and presented him written material on the subject of proportional representation.

In 2001, I visited Mauritius on holiday and on November 12, made an application for Registration as a Citizen of Mauritius. Five months later, the response (copy attached), dated 10 April 2002, was sent to my grandmother’s house and I became aware of it when I visited Mauritius in September that year. The application was rejected on the basis that I had “not stayed continuously for a period of 3 years in Mauritius prior to [my] application”. I believe that this decision was unconstitutional and was part of a conspiracy by the Jugnauth family, probably in collusion with the staff of the Prime Minister’s office, to extract gratification in return for granting applications like mine.

During the period from approximately September 2002 to November 2004, I resided in Mauritius for the purpose of being with my Grandmother during the last period of her life. In order to remain in Mauritius, it was necessary to set up a company and obtain both work and residence permits, which I did. Towards the end of February 2004, it became obvious that my grandmother was close to death and I requested that my father come from the UK to be by her side. She died in his arms a few days later on the 29th of February 2004. After the funeral, he returned to the UK.

Around Easter 2004, my father accompanied my son on his biannual holiday to Mauritius to be with me. During that visit I drove them both to le Reduit where my father met with SAJ. During this meeting, my father gave him a copy of my application for Registration as a Citizen of Mauritius. Neither I nor my son were invited into the President’s office but we were entertained by police officers in the grounds of the chateau. This is when I was first made aware of the parlous state of law and order in the country and how many officers of the police force are frustrated in their efforts to uphold the law and investigate crimes due to interference of a political nature.

By this time I had fallen in love with Mauritius and made the decision to remain here in order to change my father’s birthplace for the better. Hence, I applied myself to my business and transformed it into a consultancy to attract Foreign Direct Investment (FDI). One objective was to persuade individuals of high net worth to invest in projects of the newly launched Integrated Resort Scheme.

In November 2004, I received an unsolicited phone call from one Henri Grignon who demonstrated that he knew information about me that was not easily available in the public domain. Intrigued, I met with him on 21.11.2004 at his residence in Floreal. During this meeting, among other things, he stated that he was related to the Jugnauth family and that an ancient and extensive network of freemasonry in Mauritius could be exploited to achieve results that would otherwise be difficult, if not impossible. He also asked me about the status of my application for nationality.

Over the course of the next few days, he developed a sophisticated confidence trick with his associate called Andrew. I was persuaded to pay them some Rs.220,000, under what turned out to be false pretences, that they would help me to achieve my personal and professional aspirations through “IT services”. On the day before I left for India on business in the last week of November 2004, Mr Grignon strongly encouraged me make an application for nationality. I explained that this was pointless as I still failed to meet the conditions that caused my first application to be rejected. However, he insisted, indicating that I should not worry about the criterion.

Just for the hell of it, I applied for Registration as a Citizen of Mauritius on my way to the airport the next day. For reasons beyond my control, I was not able to return to Mauritius for a year. However, when I did so, I discovered that my application had been accepted within one month and that the letter confirming this was dated 24.12.2004. To this day, I find this absolutely extra-ordinary and cannot explain it in the absence of some clandestine intervention.

Mr Grignon, failed to provide the IT services that he invoiced me for and I subsequently discovered that the prices he had charged were extortionate to the point of being fraudulent. When I complained to him he replied that I had received what I wanted and any claim against him would fail. Indeed, he asked me for at least another Rs.100,000 and somehow Barclays Bank had paid him an additional Rs.50,000 from the account of my company.

All things considered, I can only explain this most bizarre course of events by one of three possibilities:

Scenario 1

• The Jugnauth family made Mr Grignon aware of me.
• Mr Grignon was tasked with obtaining a payment from me in return for being registered as a Citizen of Mauritius, which he proceeded to disguise as business services.
• Once part payment had been received, the Jugnauth family facilitated my application.

Scenario 2

• Mr Grignon found out about me independently.
• He discovered that I wanted to be registered as a Citizen of Mauritius and sought payment from me, under the guise of providing business services.
• When part payment had been received, he used either his relationship or the network of freemasonry to influence the Jugnauth family to facilitate my application.

Scenario 3

• Mr Grignon found out about me independently and, while being a fraudster and con artist, was not materially involved in this act of corruption.
• His knowledge of my application for citizenship was a lucky guess and his insistence that I re-apply was an amazing coincidence.
• My father gratified the Jugnauth family to facilitate my registration as a Citizen of Mauritius.

Therefore, I accuse the Jugauth family and either Mr Grignon or my father of breaching the POCA and request that they be formally investigated by the Commission.

Supporting evidence

Dear Mr President

Today I am feeling morose. As is so often the case, it is because of a lady. But rather than dwell on it, I will try to cheer myself up with some jokes and foolery.

Yesterday afternoon, I met with the Governor of the Bank of Mauritius in his beautiful office for a cup of tea, although, somewhat ironically, I had grape juice. I asked him what would be the impact on the country if our own “bangsters” (bank + gangsters) were put in jail as was done in Nigeria? He replied that most of the Chief Executive Officers of Mauritian banks have the top job because of their surnames rather than their competence. The banks would only operate better without them. Perhaps he wanted to add that the same would be true for the CEOs of Parliament and that the nation would be better off without them too. Look at Belgium – they have been without an official government for over 18 months; but they do have a head of state. Perhaps I would have jokingly replied that Mauritius has King Richard the Worst and he could be Our Governor!

Joking aside, I am disappointed that you have not replied to any of my letters. Nor have you invited me to meet with you at Reduit. I don’t understand this since family ties are clearly important to you. Surely you have not forgotten that you entertained my father, who was then a city councillor in the UK, when Paddy Ashdown, leader of the Liberal Democrats visited Mauritius? How could you have forgotten that he gave you some legal books on proportional representation when, as Prime Minister, you were contemplating electoral reform? Do you remember receiving him in your Presidential Office around Easter 2004? I certainly do because I drove him there with my son. On that occasion, as now, did it not occur to you to meet with me?

I left Mauritius in November 2004, to visit India on business and the UK to see my son. However, before I did, I was urged to make a second application to be naturalised as a Mauritian citizen. This seemed completely pointless because my previous application was rejected on the grounds that I had not lived in Mauritius for three consecutive years and I still did not satisfy this criterion.  However, I complied.

The business part of the trip was most successful. I was marketing IRS developments to the Bollywood set in partnership with Pam Golding. I met with the parents of Prianka Chopra and had the agent of Ashwairya Rai literally chase after me! However, the highlight was being asked to spend the evening with Sushmita Sen at her home. A truly lovely lady. Did you know that both she and her sister adopted baby girls who they named Renée and Aaliyah? I felt completely at home playing with them. Happy memories… What was my secret to achieving this? Personalised marketing.

My visit to the UK, on the other hand, was a complete disaster. My ex-wife refused to let me see my son and when I tried to reason with her on the phone she accused me of threatening her. The next day, the police dragged me from my bed and drove me shivering to a distant police station where I was detained for over 12 hours before being released. It was torture. However, this did not deter me from trying to see my son, and I made an application to the family court for a judicial intervention. When I explained this to my ex-wife, she made another complaint and I was arrested and charged. I was kept in jail over-night and taken to the criminal courts the next day.

My lawyer, convinced of my guilt, refused to tell the magistrates about my application to the family court. The police demanded that I be denied bail on the basis that I would flee the country. It was the only tearful intercession of my father that moved the magistrates to release me on the condition that he took responsibility for me, I was bound over to live at his house and to have no contact with my ex-wife. My passport was confiscated for nine months and I was unable to even communicate with my son for six. To cut a long story short, the case never went to trial and I was eventually able to see my son again. William Congreve wrote “Heaven hath no rage like love to hatred turned,  Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned”. I would add: “But neither compare with the that anger is provoked by injustice”. It is only healthy for me to vent this every now and again. Emotional competency is the art of channelling it constructively in a manner that brings about lasting change.

My return ticket to India had expired along with all my hard earned credibility I had gained there. With my business virtually bankrupt, I bought a return ticket to Mauritius in order to ship my possessions back the UK. To say that I was depressed is almost as big an understatement as Hillary Clinton acknowledging that Iran are unlikely to comply with the US’ request to return the spy drone that was electronically hijacked as it flew over Iranian territory. Those Republican Guards are smarter than most people give them credit… Does USrael really want to risk going to war with them?

Anyway, can you imagine my surprise to find a letter addressed to me from the Prime Minister’s Office when I returned to Mauritius after being absent for over a year? Can you imagine my shock when I opened it to discover that my application for nationality had been granted? It had taken one month. You cannot possibly imagine my incredulity to see that the letter was dated 24th December 2004? What a Christmas present that was, even if I had received it nearly a year late. I literally bounced around like Tigger with delight. You can be sure that I said a prayer of gratitude for the intervention of the “Hand of God”, a bit like the goal scored against England by Diego Maradonna.

So why am I sad now? Because I am compelled to betray the loyalty that our families  have shared for over a decade. Why would I do that? Because I petitioned you to intervene in the matter of the internet threats I had received from Jameel Peerally and his associates. A matter that the police appear to be completely ignoring. How can I be so sure? Because on Friday last week, Jameel and his vertically challenged side kick James “Prince” Lowell  (Jam1000 and mini1000?) had the audacity to confront me at the Henessy Park hotel in Ebene. Pire-Ali was working himself into such a frenzy that he would surely have attacked me, even though it was in public, had I not made a hasty escape. Have I reported this to the police? Tell me, what would be the point?

This country is corrupt to the core. The police do not uphold the law, they simply act on the whims of the Minister for Home Affairs. Have you ever seen the list of arrestable offences? Even you, the trusted President of the Republic, the ultimate defender of the Constitution, refuse to fulfil your oath. You have forfeited your position. In April last year I was obliged to take on your mantle in that parody of justice, known locally as the Soup-rim Court of Jesters. Today I demand that you resign. For my father’s sake, I will permit you do so with dignity. You have until the end of the week, after which time, I will lodge a formal complaint with ICAC and provide them with the letter from the PMO.

In fact it is already in the public domain, since I included it in my first letter to you at the end of October. Then, I was giving it to you to use as evidence to defeat the case against your own son. Read the letter again and click on the “Get out of jail free” ticket at the end. Ironic isn’t it how it turned out to be a double-edged sword that could easily read “Go to jail, go directly to jail…” Are you familiar with the game of Oligopoly? Of course you are. You are morally bankrupt and I am forcing you to exit the game. Do not even think of returning to politics. Unless you want to join Saleh’s Pity Party. I hear that New York is nice this time of year LOL

Good bye.

Dr Mu

PS: Feeling much better now! Who do you think is the brightest star: the Mafia stooge or the King?

[Note to editors: In the words of Elvis Presley "Thank you very much". For what? Actually printing this NEWS! You won't? Are you not afraid that Richard, Queue de Lion, might just be worse than the Queen of Hearts?]

OPEN LETTER to Dr Boolell, Minister of Foreign Affairs et al.

Dear Arvin

It was a pleasure to finally meet with you yesterday. Sanjeet had told me lots of great things about you. I am still surprised that you have not heard of me because your Premier Mason is well aware of me. On the subject, you would have done better to look at the pendant on my necklace rather than playing with my hand to identify my “qualifications” I will let you try again when we meet next.

There are a couple of things that you can do for my charity:

• Please summon the US Ambassador and ask him: Is the US trying to provoke Iran into starting World War Three? WHY? How would the Mauritian Islamic Community respond if they knew about it? [Clue - the US Embassy is on the 4th floor of Rogers House and their staff are housed at various locations around the island, especially the north. Should they be fearing for their safety?]

• Then summon the British High Commissioner and ask him what will be the role of Diego Garcia in such a conflict. Remind him that one of the conditions of excising the Chagos Archipelago from Mauritius was a defence pact whereby the British would use the said Archipelago to defend Mauritius. How do they intend to do that in light of US aggression? [Clue - they could enforce the exclusion zone around the US base on Diego Garcia, otherwise known as the Marine Protected Area]

You do know what I am writing about don’t you? If not, here is the research:

flipthepyramid.com/index.php/entry/pearl-harbor-70-years-on-is-iran-the-new-japan

In order for you to appreciate my style, you should be aware that when I cc something to the media, I also bcc it to other entities. In this case I have included the President of Iran as well as the relevant US and UK institutions so they will be expecting your call. You can find a copy of this letter on-line at weluvmu.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/1913 There you will see a picture alluding to Revelation 20:7-8. If you are wondering what the knight on the white horse signifies, to the Christians he his the Christ, to the Muslims the Mahdi, and to the Hindus Kalki. Google can tell you who they are if you are as uneducated as the rest of the Cabinet.

R

–
Dr Richard L Munisamy

Creative Director of  We Love Mauritius

Now let me turn to our economic prospects and our high aspirations.

We are living in troubled and testing times. Several questions arise. Will we be agile enough to meet the severe tests ahead? What kind of growth should we seek? Should it not be more inclusive? And more equitable? We are trying hard to move into niche markets but is this enough? What else must we do to escape the middle-income trap, to be amongst the best small economies, not just in Africa, but in the wider world where our main competitors are to be found?

We have seen the likes of Malta, Singapore, Hong Kong, Ireland and others raising the bar to achieve GDP per capita, adjusted for purchasing power, more than twice the levels we have achieved despite our continued economic growth. Can we make the breakthrough? Are we prepared to do what it takes to do so?

I believe it is absolutely vital for the future of Mauritius that not only government but business as well give greater weight to innovation, quality, inclusiveness and equity. We could perhaps borrow a leaf from the book of Bhutan. How does Bhutan come in the picture, some of you may well ask? This small Himalayan Kingdom leads the world in the index of Gross National Happiness.

And, while we are about it, we must also introduce a fresh dimension in our assessment of progress: the protection of our environmental capital must be included in the equation for measuring development, and not zero-valued as in the past. This is essential to ensure that any fresh spurt of economic growth is channeled into a sustainable path and does not end in further land and human degradation.

Otherwise, we shall hand over to our children a country whose famed natural beauty has been sadly overwhelmed by infrastructure and blighted by urbanisation. Do we hear the silent cries of those lovely ―flamboyant trees — planted by our forefathers, now coming into full flaming bloom, and adding to the season’s festive cheer — as they are brought down by chain-saws to make way for road-widening schemes? Or do we really wish to become like Malta, developed most certainly, but to our mind, featureless, waterless, soulless and nothing but concrete from shore to shore?

We shall never tire of saying that our people is our greatest asset. We must nurture an entrepreneurial culture. We have not fully capitalized on skills enhancement in our human resource. And we have failed to encourage R&D to turn it into a platform for creativity and innovation. We largely bring home what is fashion overseas. In sum, we are missing some of the critical ingredients of the recipe to add greater value and to move to the next stage of development. We certainly have the doers. But do we have the forward thinkers, the visionaries, the dreamers? We are in danger of falling in a pedestrian rut. We have just not dreamt big enough.

It is a scene reminiscent of Einstein’s definition of insanity, which he saw as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

I am afraid that if we stick to the beaten path, we would soon be writing our global epitaph:

Mauritius – The Home of the Dodo

Three major ideas spring to mind here: the regional service hub, innovation and excellence. The service centre or hub notion has been bandied around for years: indeed we have so many hubs thrown at us that I am beginning to lose count of the number of wheels on the wagon. The other two are vital ingredients which we largely lack: innovation and excellence. But what is really missing is an overarching vision of where we want to go and how we are to get there. Now the vision does not have to come from Government: there is a great opportunity for the private sector and the NGOs to pick up where we left off with Vision 2020 some fifteen years ago. 

[Full text source: Bank of Mauritius]

A video of the speech is available from the BBC (the Bank’s Broadcasting Corporation:) Inspiring

Along with a video of the Governor of the Bank of Nigeria (who also doubles as the national washing machine;) Awesome

Dear Mr Virahsawmy

This is the first time I have written to you but I sense a connection because of our common Dravidian heritage. Unlike your namesake who I consider a traitor to both the Dravidian and African communities.

Anyway, I am a bit concerned about the status of the “Maurice Ile Durable” project or rather “Maurice Iles Durables” as I and the whole island of Rodrigues prefer to write. So I have had an idea. Think back to when your esteemed colleague Xavier Luc Picard, now Captain of INS Enterprise Mauritius was Minister for “Giving Away Islet Nature Reserves to his Friends and Agents of the Prime Minister”. Following his amazingly successful re-branding of our island from “The Model for Heaven” to “Mauritius – c’est un plaisir” (infinitely better than my own suggestions of “The Divine Island” and “The Island of Eden”), I humbly suggest you do the same thing with MID. I think it is possible with just a minor change in the last word. Permit me to offer some suggestions.

But first let us reflect on some notable MID events of last week.

Energy Efficiency Management Office Projects Outlined

The launch of the Energy Efficiency Management Office (EEMO) by the Deputy Premier Mason Dr Rashid “Don’t mention the size of my penis” Beebeejaun. What is he a doctor of again? Oh yes that’s why he knows absolutely sweet FA about public utilities isn’t it? On the subject of miss-placed titles, when did Dr Khalil Elahee become a Professor? Rumour has it that it will not happen until Prof Konrad Morgan’s tenure expires because he thinks Elahee is a Labour stooge put in place to promote the interests of the capitalist elite. And a complete idiot.

At least Beebeejaun is not a hypocrite though! Remember he changed the name of his Ministry back to “Energy…” from “Renewable Energy…” after the last election? Now who is in the pipe-line to build more super environmentally friendly, coal-fired power-stations? Oh yes that greenest of companies with the gentlest of names: Terror (formerly known as the Brothers who murdered Anjaly Coopen and friends and wounded my great uncle).

But he is not exactly honest is he? Take the “water crisis” for example that is supposed to be due to a lack of rain. Really? Who is he trying to kid? Every time I drive along the new and perpetually empty Triolet bypass, I am amazed how much water is used to clean it. Isn’t that supposed to be irrigating Terror’s sugar-cane fields? There is manifestly no water crisis in the north; only those regions served by Mare-aux-Vacoas. And why would that be? Doesn’t that reservoir’s catchment area have the highest rainfall in the country? It rains nearly every day there doesn’t it?

So what has changed? Has Mare-aux-Vacoas sprung a leak? What would the Singaporean experts say? DON’T BE RIDICULOUS! The problem is caused by the diversion of the old streams that used to feed the reservoir. Their life giving water is now being used to keep Domaine des 7 Vallées lush and green. Now who owns that? Alain O`Reilly “the father of Ecotourism in Mauritius since far back in 1987”? Not likely is it? How could he afford to buy land with an area of forty times what he sold when he was moved on from Domaine du Chasseur? So a little digging around and what did a “friend” discover? Much of it was bought from the State at a knock-down price by front people for the Rawat and other Parti Travesti families. Wait a minute! Haven’t the Rawat’s merged with Beejaun’s family through marriage? What a scandal that would be if it were made public don’t you think? A super-volcano waiting to erupt that will make the Medpoint scandal seem like an ant-hill! I digress…

Now back to the subject. What is the purpose of the EEMO? To promote energy efficiency is it not? And how does it propose to do that? According to the Energy Strategy 2011-25 Action Plan Update, by putting stickers on appliances showing how efficient they are and banning the worst ones. And when will that be complete? 2015! WTF? There are stickers on these appliances already! So what will the office be doing? Removing them for the next four years? What a complete waste of money! Still at least it does fall within Elahee’s skill set!

It is said you know that “you can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time”. I want to suggest an addedum: “except in Mauritius”. That conveniently leads us to my suggestion for re-branding MID: “Maurice Ile Dupable”

Prime Minister Inaugurates Bras d’Eau National Park

You must be breathing a sigh of relief now: how can I possibly decry this worthy project? Easy! According to the Premier Mason, the country’s remaining 50,000 hectares of forest (that’s close enough to the real figure of 37,000 hectares isn’t it?) and the wild-life they contain must be protected for future generations. That’s really green isn’t it? Well it seems so until one recalls that the Franc-hoes deforested virtually the whole island for their sugar-cane plantations, for fuel-wood to power their mills and for timber to build houses and ships. Not to mention exports. Did you know that Mauritian ebony used to be the most expensive wood in the world?

After this arboretal massacre, only 6,600 hectares of historical forest now remain, and they would have had that too if the British hadn’t declared Black River Gorges National Park. Unfortunately, it has been so badly maintained and overrun with alien species, that its ability to support our unique fauna and flora has severely compromised. And those misguided folk from the Mauritius Wildlife Foundation, by pulling up the alien weeds are simultaneously destroying the habitat of our native ants. But then who cares about ants? They are far to small to pay any attention to aren’t they?

Back to the Franc-hoes heinous crimes against nature and the well-being of future generations. From 1948 to 1973 they doused the entire landscape doused with DDT to wipe out the mosquitoes and other insect pests. How successful was that? What it did achieve was the decimation of our wild bird populations which gave MWF its raison d’etre. Moreover, when the run-off from the land reached our fragile lagoons, that most comprehensive chemical weapon of mass destruction inflicted a mortal blow to much of our coral reefs. An unprecedented onslaught from which they are still failing to recover due to the chemical fertilisers and raw sewage from hotels and beach houses that we have overwhelmed them with. Not to mention the carcinogenic exhaust from ubiquitous speed boats that smothers them. When will you ban that most malignant of coastal watersports? How come you are not even capable of enforcing the ski lanes that were nominated years ago?

Oh and did I tell you never to go swimming in Grand Baie after heavy rains? If our drinking water gets contaminated by our own faeces so much that we have to boil it before consumption, how much more our village beaches? Wasn’t the new northern sewerage system supposed to prevent this? Of course it was, except the stupid designers installed a system incapable of coping with run off from heavy rainfall. In a region that used to be precious wetlands but which were backfilled by cretins, this is not an insignificant volume. Just a few decades ago, bay was crystal clear bay; it supported stunning patch reefs, was a haven for enormous lobsters and a nursery for all manner of marine life, including hammerhead sharks. We have utterly destroyed it in the name of development. Mauritius would surely top the charts for the worst anti-eco tourism destination in the world don’t you think?

Anyway, what are the Franc-hoes doing in restitution for their past sins? Are they reforesting that land they no longer need for sugar-cane? No those evil ecosystem destroyers are not! Instead of restoring our once beautiful rain forests and palm savannahs that once graced the Island of Eden, so much appreciated by Mark Twain, they are covering their land with concrete and asphalt. Why? To provide safe tax-free havens for international criminals, Mafia and Wall Street bankers (can you imagine how much do I want to spell that with a “w”?) Not to mention the shopping malls appearing like mushrooms that are required to satisfy their addiction to brand shopping.

They will all be here soon won’t they? How else do you explain why we suddenly have the Premier Mason’s friends acquiring the franchises for Porsche, Aston Martin, Ferrari and Maserati? I hear Lamborgini is still available, so be quick if you can afford it. Of course you can, with all the bribes you have received for green-lighting the most blatantly deceitful Environmental Impact Assessments. How much do you get for waiving them entirely? Projects that are carried out under your direct supervision must be an absolute gold-mine for you.

Who is encouraging all this diabolical development? Only our beloved the Premier Mason and every successive Minister of “Balancing the Books by Selling off our National Assets to Foreigners”. Since he was swept into power after the most corrupt and unfair election I have ever witnessed, he has overseen the rape and pillaging of our priceless treasures unknown since the reign of the Franc-hoes. Do none of his bean counters know how to assess the value of the ecosystem services they provide? Actually there is one isn’t there? But he has been locked away in the tower of BOMb-don hasn’t he? Why? Because he initiated Vision 2020 which called for a cap on tourism and investments in environmental restoration. If we had implemented even half of its recommendations we would be well on our way to sustainability by now wouldn’t we?

Instead, we have the Premier Mason’s day-dream of “Maurice Ile Durable”. The nation’s rectal sphincter has less vision than an octopal pyramid after it has played ophthalmic tit-for-tat with a Jewish lawyer! (You don’t get that do you? Recall Gandhi’s observation that “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”.  And “octopal” means having the characteristics of an octopus. Yes I do have an Odysseus complex LOL He didn’t even come up with the idea! It was some croaking (allusion to frog) pseudo-intellectual who likes to think he is the godfather of the nation. Doesn’t he know that there is a very long and distinguished (and soon to be extinguished) queue for that title? Have you realised yet what my other suggestion is for re-branding MID? Of course you haven’t, a moron with a negative IQ has more chance. So I will have to tell you: “Maurice Ile Deplorable”, straight to the heart don’t you think? (Not too much longer to wait;)

As I am sure you can guess, I could go on but I realise I have probably already exhausted your limited attention span. Oh, there is one more thing my pride compels me to mention. How many of the winners of the Green Africa Awards 2012 are fellow cross-dressers? Yes I do feel bitter! Not only did you not brother inviting me to the event, your corrupt, self-serving bunch of fellating eunuchs have consistently failed to acknowledge a single one of my interventions on behalf of Sustainable Mauritius. A real blow, below the apron strings, to my ego. Here are just a few:

1. A presentation to the Ministry of Environment on coral reef restoration.
2. A plan for the integrated development of Grand Baie as presented to the Ministry of Tourism.
3. A report on beach erosion prepared for the Ministry of Environment.
4. A proposal for transforming sugar estates into centres of energy arbitrage as presented to the University of Mauritius.
5. A recommendation, in partnership with the Zac Sunderland (the youngest person to sail single-handed around the world unassisted), to promote sailing as a national pastime and international sporting attraction (MID website).
6. A cultural analysis of Mauritius and the ways it could change to become more socially just and ecologically sustainable (MID website).
7. An analysis of the potentially catastrophic nexus between HIV/AIDS, intravenous drug users and prostitution (MID website).
8. A youth video competition highly praised by Prof Odendaal (Oh is he a brother too? Surely a regular?)
9. A blistering critique of the Ministry of Tourism’s strategy after consultations with the Principle Tourism Planner (XLD was and still is too scared to face me).
10. An equally devastating critique of the government’s CSR strategy as presented to the Financial Secretary, Alifuc Dapoor.

Most of the above can be found at WeLoveMauritius.org and drmu.wordpress.com

The endeavour I am most proud of is a roadmap to energy self-sufficiency which I will happily present to any audience at any time. (Yes, Elahee prevent me doing so at the University). If you are too curious, you can view it here: Prezi.com

Please do let me know if you want any more feedback.

Your faithful partner in realising the a Sustainable Mauritius,

Dr Richard L Munisamy