OPEN LETTER TO THE OMBUDSMAN

Re: Complaint against Commissioner of Police, Heydrich Himmler RamperSad.

Dear Mad Hatteea

Am I supposed to be appreciative of your “helping spirit”? Given that the police are a department of government and my complaint was about their dereliction of duty, I am somewhat surprised that you have not made a more convincing pretence of exercising the investigative powers endowed upon you by the Constitution and are abdicating so quickly from your sworn duty. In my judgement you are no longer the Ombudsman. Your parting words imply that my complaint is criminal in nature, so at least you recognise that the police are in gross violation of the law.

Why the Convention on Disability Rights should be implemented in Mauritius

It is a great honour and privilege for us to welcome Mervyn Anthony as our guest author. He is a very courageous individual, who is “undoubtedly one of the most outstanding deaf, physically challenged and speech impaired with mild dysarthria, keynote speakers and seminar leaders in the world”.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: IT IS HIGH TIME TO IMPLEMENT THE UNITED NATION CONVENTION ON RIGHTS FOR DISABLED IN MAURITIUS!

Would you buy ANYTHING from this company?

STATEMENT OF DR RICHARD L MUNISAMY:

Open letter to the Commissioner of Police

PRE-ACTION PROTOCOL: Private prosecution for perverting the course of justice and hence putting my safety at risk.

Dear Mr RamperSad

You look rather melancholy in your photo on page 8 of the Police Magazine 2010. Were you depressed? I am sorry to say that this letter is unlikely to cheer your spirits much, so I have included one or two puns to help us both see the lighter side of this otherwise very sombre situation. It is indeed sad that circumstances have led me to the point of privately prosecuting you. However, once you are made aware of what has happened I am confident that you will empathise with my anguish and comply with my requests.

The Island of Eden

Dear Mr President

Imagine a charity from Mauritius being awarded the Nobel Peace prize. Imagine you being the Patron of that charity and receiving one of the most prestigious awards ever made in the history of mankind? Ludicrous? YES! And yet while it is extremely unlikely, it is just possible…

You see an international news organisation that publishes reader-sourced news has just published this joke story which we released to promote our Divine Island:

Leaky-Leaks: The Three-in-oNe State Solution

What if the real purpose of the current state visit of the President of Turkey to the UK was to gain support for a revolutionary proposal to overcome the impasse in Palestine? Intelligence sources have now revealed that the collective of the Bektashi Order of Sufis based in Mauritius has offered up to the global community a cunning plan to revive the ailing peace process. This vision was received during the community’s pilgrimage to Hacıbektaş in the Turkish region of central Anatolia in 2006. However, such a radical solution could only be taken seriously at a time when all other options were exhausted and people feared that the Middle East was on the brink of its final, self-destructive war.

A testing time for CCID

READER DISCRETION ADVISED. IMAGES CONTAIN FOUL LANGUAGE.

Dear Mr Vuddamalay [Assistant Commissioner of Police]

Please find attached yet more evidence associated with my complaint [against Jameel Peerally]. I am becoming concerned that the police are not performing their sworn duty. Unless action is taken swiftly it will be inferred that you and your subordinates are no longer part of the Mauritian Police Force but form a division of the Leader’s Gestapo. This will not be good for your career. If you don’t follow your conscience now, you had better kill me or you will be spending a very long time in prison. I am guessing more than one inmate will be happy to initiate you. So perhaps it won’t be so long after all.. Of course if something does happen to me, your complicity will surely be suspected as you have quite a strong motive don’t you think? I will be making a declaration against you as a precautionary measure.

Honda’s stepping stones to sustainability

Quite intriguingly, Honda chose the redundant sugar factory –  l’Aventure du Sucre – as the venue to launch three hybrid cars in Mauritius. This excellent museum portrays, in graphic detail, the inhuman exploitation of good people of colour by the “then” racist Franco-Mauritian elite. We attended to publicly ridicule the hybrid green-wash propaganda but were pleasantly surprised…

First, because our sparring partner from Yale, and arch supporter of the hybrid deception, Vedant Seeam was guest of honour. Second, because Mr Yoshiaki Nakamura had the perfect repost to our katana-like critique. In his presentation, the President of Honda Motor Southern Africa declared that Honda is committed to an avergage 50% reduction in CO2 emissions from its vehicles by 2020. How on earth did he expect hybrids to achieve that? we asked. He replied that hybrids are but a stepping stone to fossil-fuel free transport, whether it be all electric or hydrogen. Respect sir!

Leaky-Leaks: The Hidden Agenda

Forget the comatose “Maurice Iles Durables” project, is this a secret strategy for “Sustainable Mauritius” you haven’t heard about (until now;) ?

***START***

Subject: PROJECT “SUSTAINABLE MAURITIUS”

Classification: UK TOP SECRET

Origin: PORT W

Destination: GCHQ

Please identify Cabinet members who may oppose the high level strategy for Sustainable Mauritius as negotiated with Minster of Finance and Economic Development (Xavier Luc Duval):

1. Replace government bureaucracy with a smart computer system named e-gov 2.0. This will virtually eliminate corruption, massively reduce the budgetary requirements but have negative impacts on unemployment rate.

All men are equal in the eyes of the law…

…but are some more equal than others?

Yesterday Richard Munisamy, Director of WeLuvMu, made a statement to CCID complaining that Jameel Peerally had used foul language over the telephone. You may recall that Rama Sithanen, after he had openly criticised his party’s leader, was arrested for questioning for a similar offence. Moreover, Richard complained that Jameel had threatened his life/safety in a Facebook message. In the real world, such an offence of intent is only one small step removed from actually committing it.