The Mad Hatteea

Today’s joke is the Ombudsman, Mr S&M Hatteea, although one might say that the Office of the Ombudsman has been a joke since Independence. For those who don’t know, the purpose of the Ombudsman is to help a member of the public who has suffered injustice from any officer of any department of Government, the police or the prison service (somewhat topical). The only exclusions are the President, the Chief Justice and the Director of Public Prosecutions. He has powers of investigation equal to those of the Supreme Court. In other words, he is like ICAC on steroids.

At least that is the theory. In practice, the current Ombudsman is an old pussy cat who has lost his claws. Only when reminded of his Constitutional powers does he wake up from his slumber and actually do anything of any use except pass letters between the aggrieved party and his/her tormentors. We have been asking the Ombudsman for most of this year to sort out our approval with the committee of the CSR Fund. Please check our previous post for the details: When is an NGO not an NGO?

Privatising our patrimoine

In 2007, our “democratising the economy” Government introduced the Aquatic Business Activities Bill which would have paved the way for the privatisation of our coastal lands, lagoons and inshore waters. Our friends at Kalipso ferociously opposed this legislation and it was shelved. However, its essential elements were sneaked into law as part of the Finance Act 2008 (Miscellaneous Provisions). Finance Acts are supposed to be for annual budgetary measures, but this one amended the Fisheries and Marine Resources Act (2007) to permit vast tracts of sea to be leased for aquaculture.

The privatisation of our collective heritage continues apace with the construction of ever more hotels to chase the self-destructive dream of 2 million tourist arrivals per year. Our challenge to the Ministry of Tourism about this suicidal policy remains unanswered. First, the northern islets were leased at heavily discounted rates to concessionaires (who just happened to be the ruling parties’ political agents) and now they are being gifted with areas of public beach on the mainland.

Kreol in schools – final version

Here is what we sent to the Ministry of Education today. Thanks to everyone who contributed.

Morisyen in schools

Introduction of Kreol language in schools

Here is our draft submission:

Morisyen in schools

Please provide your comments ASAP so that they may be incorporated in the final version which will be sent on Thursday 24th June at 2pm.

Apples, oranges and pears

We finally worked out what Pravind Jugnauth, our new Minister of Finance, was saying in the National Assembly on Tuesday. The key that unlocked the puzzle was the old adage “always compare like with like”. What our rookie Minister had managed to do was confuse the whole Assembly and all of the nation’s journalists as well by creating a fruit salad with the statistics. One minute the numbers were in Rupees, then in dollars and then in Euros. On top of that he was mixing up outstanding debt at a certain date with debt contracted over a period time. But the cherry on the ice cream was a clever sleight of tongue that completely obscured the nation’s debt crisis.

Rama Sithanen in the sh*t again

Today’s joke is the charge against Rama Sithanen. While we think the man is incompetent for introducing the CSR Fund, and a traitor for contracting unsustainable external debts and selling off Mauritius to China under the secrecy of a confidentiality agreement (how much room is there for fraud within than?). We are incredulous at the charge laid against him for being abusive on the phone (was he speaking in Kreol?). First of all we cannot find the offence which, according to NewsNow, was under Section 46h of the ICT Act (you will see that the list of offences jumps from (f) to (i), how weird is that?). Second, recording the conversation without his consent was a violation of Rama’s privacy. We think he needs to get a new lawyer, preferably one who is NOT a Freemason!

Warning: reading this could seriously damage your wealth

“Speech is silver, but silence is golden.” Writing this out a few hundred times was a common punishment for talking in class when I was at school in the UK. Of course, the advent of computers and word processors has rendered the punishment redundant. However, it is still relevant in Mauritius, not to the Ministry of Education, but to the Ministry of Finance.

I have been contemplating Pravind Jugnauth’s deathly silence on the subject of the country’s finances. Unlike other political observers, I do not consider the boy an idiot. In fact, I suspect he might just harbour a little integrity along with his over-looked intelligence. So why be silent on the economy? Because telling it like it is will damage investor and consumer confidence.

“Oh really? Tell us how it is then!”

In two words: growth & devaluation.

Mauritian delegation lies to UN about drugs problem

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 (London, UK and Port Louis, Mauritius) – UN human rights monitors have warned against the reintroduction of the death penalty for drug offences in Mauritius, suggesting instead a range of public health interventions designed to address drug related harm in the country, including the decriminalisation and legal prescription of buprenorphine (Subutex). The International Harm Reduction Association (IHRA) and Collectif Urgence Toxida (CUT) have today applauded the findings.

Today a reader, tomorrow a leader

Today’s joke comes from the Prime Minister’s speech yesterday at the opening of the new headquarters of the Mauritius Freemasons Bar Association. [Editors note: I am feeling a bit like a middle aged DJ this week, nostalgically dusting off his favourite releases from the 90s. On Monday it was Vision 2020, yesterday the light railway and today...]

“In his report, Lord Mackay had suggested a reform of the judiciary system,” recalled the prime minister, who explained how he managed to convince Lord Mackay to chair the committee that looked into the judicial system in Mauritius and thereafter prepared a report.

“The Mackay Report is a wonderful piece of work and the most far-reaching report ever made on the Judiciary,” said Dr Ramgoolam.

When was the Mackay Report published? 1998! How much has been done? In the words of the Chief Justice: “A few reforms that need to be implemented figure prominently in the Government Programme 2010-2015.” What about the rest? What about the recommendations for judicial reforms by Sachs Commission in 2001 and the EISA Report in 2008? Didn’t they make recommendations for electoral reforms as well, such as regulating political parties?

To be or not to be? That is the congestion!

Today’s joke comes from the Presidential address delivered yesterday. Paragraph 105 reads:

“Government, in its attempt to alleviate and solve the traffc congestion problem, will soon embark on a Bus Modernization Programme to upgrade bus services throughout the island. The aim being to offer fast, frequent, convenient and more attractive services to the commuters. This programme also includes the construction of an alternative mode of transport on the Curepipe-Port Louis corridor. The metro-léger project will be reconsidered.”

So the light rail system is back on the drawing board. I am quite familiar with this project since I was involved in the tender exercise in 1998…Gulp…that was 12 years ago! Not only had the light railway between Curepipe and Port Louis been approved, but an ultra-light tramway was even considered within the capital: